What Do You Really Want

Hello everyone,how is everything going for you?I hope and pray all is well and if not they get better VERY soon.

The topic of this blog is the first question I posted on the boards when I first started blackwhiteconnections in myspace and it's still the #1 and most important question for all members to ask themselves and answer,because if you don't know what you want, how are you supposed to get what you want?

What I as well as many other bwwm group leaders/owners have noticed is that the far majority of you joining these groups think or assume that these groups are only to "hook up" or meet someone to be with in some way,shape,or form.

Lets examine this in further detail and come up with a plan on how someone under this criteria could get what they want.

Lets assume far a minute that the male is looking for women to give him sexual gratification or to please him sexually somehow and the female is looking for a man that will respect her,honor her,talk to her,build a friendship and romance,give her some form of commitment,love her,and then give her sexual gratification.

I'll start with the male since they are much easier and faster to examine.Since their only want is to be sexually gratified the only qualification they have is that the females they approach can and will give them sexual gratification.

In other words,they find them attractive and sexy,plus the female has or will provide sexual pics,such as bikini pictures,booty pics,and other sexually provocative pictures including possible naked pictures or they will talk to them sexually or about sexual topics.

If the female has 1 or 2 of these qualifications they get what they want,because the qualifications are so low and there's enough females out there that fall into these qualifications so it's very easy for the average male to get what he wants,as long as this is what they want and as you ladies already know just about 90-95% of the guys online fall into this standard.

Now lets examine the female,she has far more qualifications so it's much more difficult for her to get what she wants.Then when you add into this the sad fact that 90-95% of guys online automatically try to talk about sexual things or get sexual pictures from the females they talk to (because as I just went over,most guys online only want sexual gratification) it's even further and almost impossible for the average female to get what she's looking for online.

Now as most of you know there is no real set type of male or female.Everyone has a different personality,experiences,wants,needs,as well as many other things.But if you take a group as a whole you can see many of the same things and this is what i'm doing here,so please no rude or ignorant messages or emails about this subject please!

Many females add into the qualifications they already have that the guy is in their area and since almost 100% of the people you meet online (much less the bwwm groups) aren't in your area, they are already set up to fail and not get what they want.

Lets say this qualification isn't in their list of qualifications though and just go through the other qualifications and how they can get what they want.

Sadly as most of you know because of the standard of guys that I already went through,the stack is already built against you.So your only option to get what your looking for is to hopefully find it someplace else or to put up with the ignorance of the guys in these places. 

My suggestion to you for finding guys that fit the qualifications that I originally listed is

• find a place where intellectual people get together and meet guys there.This way they aren't there looking for only sexual gratification so you have a better chance to get the respect,honor,conversation,romance,friendship,commitment and love your looking for and need,then you can get the sexual gratification you want or need as well without feeling like a ho or that the guy doesn't respect you and is only looking for one thing.

If you decide to continue to look for these things in these places ladies I suggest you have your standards and hold strongly to them and if a guy approaches you in the wrong way politely let them know this,

• Such as:If they approach you with a sexual line or commenting on a body part of yours or something I suggest saying something like "excuse me?I would appreciate it if you didn't speak to me like that.If you want to have a conversation with me or get to know me just say hello or hi".

This will show them that you have standards and respect for yourself,then they can gather their senses and know how to talk to you in the future.You can start over if you decide to.

Don't just write off guys that approach you the wrong way either.Some guys don't know better (sadly) and others are just used to females responding to this approach (if they weren't getting positive responses to these approaches do you think they would continue to approach this way?) so stand up for yourself and teach them how to approach you as I suggested.Some guys that start out this way are actually okay and just need some guidance or direction.

 

When you start talking to guys pay close attention to the questions they ask you.This will give you an idea or tell you what they're interested in and therefore what they want.

 

Think of some good conversation starters that are open ended questions so they can tell you something about themselves without just answering yes,no,or maybe.

Also know that ALL guys want to know that getting sexual gratification is possible and ok with you at some point and even when that is.

It's my belief and feeling that you should have a conversation for at least 1 1/2 hrs straight before sex should come up in the conversation or 3 emails and then all of the conversation shouldn't be just about this subject.That way you know and get all the things you want and need.
 

Now past all this for both guys and females,I suggest that if you want these qualifications and are looking for them in these groups

• be more out going and active.
• Post messages saying hi,then stop in and correspond with others in the group,giving your feed back to questions and statements
• ask your own questions,post blogs on topics you feel passionately about that have to do with the group in some way.

If you do these things I guarantee that more people will respond to you and reach out to you,so you'll get to know more people and have that much more opportunity to get what your looking for.

There you go.I hope this blesses you and that maybe even it will allow the boards and groups to be more active in return.