Have You Always Been Attracted To Black Women Or White Men & Why?

Out of the thousands of black women and white men I have talked to that date interracially I have gotten mixed reviews on this question of if they always have been attracted to or interested in black women (bw) or white men (wm).

All of the white men I talked to said they have always been attracted to or interested in black women.Most of them said they didn't think black women would like or be interested in them though,or they said they were afraid of black women.

I can relate to that because that's how it was with me as well.I didn't think black women were interested in white men romantically or sexually.

The black women either admitted to always being attracted to white men ( most of these women said they were afraid of what society and more importantly their family and peers would think,say,and do if they admitted to being attracted to or liking white men though and this is what held them back.A good number of these women also thought white men weren't interested in them or wouldn't have relationships with them) or said they had a girl friend or family member that dated a white guy and suggested they also do it,because they were much happier.

Then there were some that said they got fed up with dating black,latin,spanish or puerto rican men and heard good things about dating white men or thought "what the hell.I'll give it a shot".

All of the white men said they loved black women's bodies.Especially a big ole booty!!!After talking to these white men further they all also admitted to liking black women's personalities as well,but it was the beauty and body that initially drew them in,because men are sexual beings.We think sex before anything else.

Women are more maternal,then think security and long term before other things.The black women said they liked our personalities and how we treated them (like queens) as well.

Everyone has special reasons for liking others,but taken as a whole these are the answers I've got after dating strictly black women for 12 yrs now and talking to thousands of white men and black women that dated interracially or are thinking about it.

What's The State Of Social Networking Sites & What's The Point Of A Network

I was reading a book on business prospecting yesterday and it was talking about networks and it REALLY touched me,because it said EXACTLY what I felt!

It said "a real network is not a group of acquaintances who might be able to help you out someday.Instead,a network is an association of individuals who have a solid relationship with each other and a strong commitment to the success of everyone within that group".

This got me thinking about the state of social networking sites and more specifically groups on those sites,as well as elsewhere.

 

How many of these groups and websites fit this definition?

As some of you may know I've been a part of the bwwm (black women white men) community for 12yrs now.Five years of this I have been part of the online bwwm (black women white men) groups and two years of it I have had my own bwwm (black women white men) groups called blackwhiteconnections.

What I have noticed and seen over the years in these groups is that most of the time they get a number of members and for around three months they do well with members coming in and responding to questions,discussion topics,and adding question and discussion topics themselves,but then the group just dies.

People stop coming to the group,checking it,and adding to it.Either by answering questions,discussion topics,or adding their own.

IN my own group on myspace (http://groups.myspace.com/blackwhiteconnections) after a year I sent out a mass email asking what was going on with the group and asking members to add the groups profile page to their friends list,so I could send one update to reach everyone so I didn't have to email all 2,500 members.

Over half of these members (1,500) didn't even know or remember they were even a part of the group or what it was!!!

What I found out through my group and then talking to other people that have bwwm (black women white men) groups is

• Most people end up joining because they are curious and visit the group two or three times and then forget about it,as well as that they are still members.
• They also don't usually introduce themselves or add anything to the group.

Now also this seems to be the case with people on social networking sites as well that aren't even in groups.

They add a slew of people to their friends list building it up into the high hundreds and even thousands,then don't even bother to reach out to these people through email or instant messages sent to them from these people on their friends list.

This brings me back to the definition of networks that I described in the beginning of this blog and to ask a question

• What's the point of joining a social networking site or group if your not going to interact with the people in the groups you join or the people you add to your friends list?

• Why do you think these groups and websites were started?

It's my hope and prayer that this blog brings about a lot of discussion and makes people wake up and realize what they are doing and how they are being viewed,as I know MANY people that won't even add someone if they have more than 100 people on their friends list for this very reason.

What Do You Really Want

Hello everyone,how is everything going for you?I hope and pray all is well and if not they get better VERY soon.

The topic of this blog is the first question I posted on the boards when I first started blackwhiteconnections in myspace and it's still the #1 and most important question for all members to ask themselves and answer,because if you don't know what you want, how are you supposed to get what you want?

What I as well as many other bwwm group leaders/owners have noticed is that the far majority of you joining these groups think or assume that these groups are only to "hook up" or meet someone to be with in some way,shape,or form.

Lets examine this in further detail and come up with a plan on how someone under this criteria could get what they want.

Lets assume far a minute that the male is looking for women to give him sexual gratification or to please him sexually somehow and the female is looking for a man that will respect her,honor her,talk to her,build a friendship and romance,give her some form of commitment,love her,and then give her sexual gratification.

I'll start with the male since they are much easier and faster to examine.Since their only want is to be sexually gratified the only qualification they have is that the females they approach can and will give them sexual gratification.

In other words,they find them attractive and sexy,plus the female has or will provide sexual pics,such as bikini pictures,booty pics,and other sexually provocative pictures including possible naked pictures or they will talk to them sexually or about sexual topics.

If the female has 1 or 2 of these qualifications they get what they want,because the qualifications are so low and there's enough females out there that fall into these qualifications so it's very easy for the average male to get what he wants,as long as this is what they want and as you ladies already know just about 90-95% of the guys online fall into this standard.

Now lets examine the female,she has far more qualifications so it's much more difficult for her to get what she wants.Then when you add into this the sad fact that 90-95% of guys online automatically try to talk about sexual things or get sexual pictures from the females they talk to (because as I just went over,most guys online only want sexual gratification) it's even further and almost impossible for the average female to get what she's looking for online.

Now as most of you know there is no real set type of male or female.Everyone has a different personality,experiences,wants,needs,as well as many other things.But if you take a group as a whole you can see many of the same things and this is what i'm doing here,so please no rude or ignorant messages or emails about this subject please!

Many females add into the qualifications they already have that the guy is in their area and since almost 100% of the people you meet online (much less the bwwm groups) aren't in your area, they are already set up to fail and not get what they want.

Lets say this qualification isn't in their list of qualifications though and just go through the other qualifications and how they can get what they want.

Sadly as most of you know because of the standard of guys that I already went through,the stack is already built against you.So your only option to get what your looking for is to hopefully find it someplace else or to put up with the ignorance of the guys in these places. 

My suggestion to you for finding guys that fit the qualifications that I originally listed is

• find a place where intellectual people get together and meet guys there.This way they aren't there looking for only sexual gratification so you have a better chance to get the respect,honor,conversation,romance,friendship,commitment and love your looking for and need,then you can get the sexual gratification you want or need as well without feeling like a ho or that the guy doesn't respect you and is only looking for one thing.

If you decide to continue to look for these things in these places ladies I suggest you have your standards and hold strongly to them and if a guy approaches you in the wrong way politely let them know this,

• Such as:If they approach you with a sexual line or commenting on a body part of yours or something I suggest saying something like "excuse me?I would appreciate it if you didn't speak to me like that.If you want to have a conversation with me or get to know me just say hello or hi".

This will show them that you have standards and respect for yourself,then they can gather their senses and know how to talk to you in the future.You can start over if you decide to.

Don't just write off guys that approach you the wrong way either.Some guys don't know better (sadly) and others are just used to females responding to this approach (if they weren't getting positive responses to these approaches do you think they would continue to approach this way?) so stand up for yourself and teach them how to approach you as I suggested.Some guys that start out this way are actually okay and just need some guidance or direction.

 

When you start talking to guys pay close attention to the questions they ask you.This will give you an idea or tell you what they're interested in and therefore what they want.

 

Think of some good conversation starters that are open ended questions so they can tell you something about themselves without just answering yes,no,or maybe.

Also know that ALL guys want to know that getting sexual gratification is possible and ok with you at some point and even when that is.

It's my belief and feeling that you should have a conversation for at least 1 1/2 hrs straight before sex should come up in the conversation or 3 emails and then all of the conversation shouldn't be just about this subject.That way you know and get all the things you want and need.
 

Now past all this for both guys and females,I suggest that if you want these qualifications and are looking for them in these groups

• be more out going and active.
• Post messages saying hi,then stop in and correspond with others in the group,giving your feed back to questions and statements
• ask your own questions,post blogs on topics you feel passionately about that have to do with the group in some way.

If you do these things I guarantee that more people will respond to you and reach out to you,so you'll get to know more people and have that much more opportunity to get what your looking for.

There you go.I hope this blesses you and that maybe even it will allow the boards and groups to be more active in return.

Qualities Of A BlackWhiteConnections Family Member

    Hello everyone,this is Jeremy Nelson the CEO of BlackWhiteConnections.I decided to write and post this blog to let all the members of the BlackWhiteConnections community know the qualities we want you to have and what we expect from you as well.

    As you all know from my last blog BlackWhiteConnections IS NOT just a hook up spot for black women and white men to meet each other and "hook up" or whatever you want to call it.

    BlackWhiteConnections was built and started for a much deeper reason than that. Which i outlined in that last blog as well.One of them was to form a family out of the black women white men community.

 

  So here are the qualities and what we expect from out members.

1.  Know Each Other: Who we are,where we're from & some basic information about each other,what we do for a living,what we're going to school for & where at,how many kids we have,what we enjoy doing for fun,what we want in life and a relationship
2. Keep In Regular Contact With Each Other:Send or reply to email to each other at least every other week,Not just with people you're the closest with or romantically interested/involved with either.
3.  Help & Support Each Other:Give advice to each other,listen to each other,show care & compassion,network & introduce each other to new people you think they will like or can help them
4. Trust:Share things about yourself & be honest AT ALL TIMES, give more than just very general & basic information about yourself to others,don't give one worded answers,don't assume that everyone has an angle or something they are trying to get from you to use you. This doesn't mean you have to share your deepest darkest secrets with everyone however. Trust is given as well as earned.
5. Love Each Other:Truly & genuinely care about them,their situation,what they been through and going through.
6. Protect Each Other:Don't let other down grade,talk badly to or about,try to intimidate,threaten or harm in anyway,shape,or form any of the people in our community/family
7. Honest With Each Other At All Times

These are qualities we want our members to have at BlackWhiteConnectioins. They are very basic,simple to follow & yes WE DO EXPECT OUR MEMBERS TO HAVE ALL OF THESE QUALITIES & TO FOLLOW THEM..
As I said in the beginning of this blog and in the last blog I wrote,BlackWhiteConnections IS NOT just a hook up spot. It's a family & meant to be acted as such.
Many of you I'm sure have dysfunctional families as do I,so I don't want us to think and act as that kind of family,but think about how you wish your family was and the qualities you wish they had as a cohesive unit and apply those.As always,I pray that all is well with all of you and that you and your families are well.

                                                                                                                                 

Sincerely Yours,

Jeremy Nelson