What My Vision For BlackWhiteConnections Is

I've been getting more & more impressions that many of you still don't know exactly what BlackWhiteConnections is & what it's about.I've been seeing that many of you think it's simply just another IR (interracial relationship) or bwwm (black women white men) group like the 1000's of other groups out there under this topic. So I decided to write this blog to share what BlackWhiteConnections is,my vision for it & what we're attempting to do or accomplish with BlackWhiteConnections.
With this being said,I don't want any of you to misunderstand or misconstrue things & think this is all about me or a platform for me to find black women to be with.
BlackWhiteConnections is,has been,& ALWAYS WILL BE about YOU,the bwwm (black women white men) community. Which I simply am a part of.
BlackWhiteConnections was started as an online community;using groups & profiles in different social networking sites such as,myspace,blackplanet,yahoo groups,& facebook to be grown into a full fledge  business & corporation.
I was sick & tired of all the current IR (interracial relationship) dating sites & groups that predominantly cater to bmww (black men white women) & simply allow black women & white men to join.

At the time I created BlackWhiteConnections none of those sites allowed you to search profiles by race or area,only by sex & age.So if you were a white man like me looking for a black woman or vise versa,you had to look through 1000's of profiles you weren't interested in.Also in order to be able to email the people you did find (if you had hours of free time to actually find them) you had to become a paying member.
Call me cheap if you wish,but I have always believed  that being able to contact people on sites should be a basic & free service on ALL sites.
That all money should be made through advertising,offering premium services,such as cam to cam chat/dating,call in privacy (where you call in & talk to the person you're interested in with out giving your number to them),online conferencing,etc.And offering entertainment options & diversifying how you make money,bye offering many different things for people to buy & be a part of.
It's because of this belief & my vision that I see the potential that BlackWhiteConnections has.That of being a self contained community that can become a part of just about every industry out there!

Some of you may be wondering what I mean when I say "a self contained community",what I mean by that is:a community made up of black women & white men that are married,dating, or interested in marrying or dating each other.That help each other & support each other;mentally,emotionally,financially,romantically,& spiritually.
We don't have to depend on the outside or greater community to provide these things.WE CAN PROVIDE THEM OURSELVES!!!
BlackWhiteConnections is made up of very diverse people & educations or careers.This is how we can do this,along with BlackWhiteConnections itself which can provide all of these needs.We just need to come together as one to accomplish this & that is what we at BlackWhiteConnections are working to accomplish.


So many people go to work at a job they hate just to pay their bills &/or provide them with the life they want for themselves.Imagine being a part of & having a job you get paid well for,that you love & are very passionate about.IT'S POSSIBLE!
We could even make our own physical community in the form of a city or country!IT'S POSSIBLE!!!!
Imagine not having to deal with the ugly looks & stare while you're out with your significant other or on a date.Having a community of people that love,care,respect,& support you.It's ALL POSSIBLE PEOPLE!!!
How about those of you in school but worried about finding a job when you graduate or those of you that are skilled at many different things,but aren't sure what to do or are unemployed.BlackWhiteConnections could take care of that for you!
This is my vision for BlackWhiteConnections.My hope & prayer.My dream & what I & the rest of BlackWhiteConnections are working hard to accomplish.

Straight From The Mouths Of Women In BlackWhiteConnections,What Women Expect Of Men

I posed the question on my facebook status and here's the results,straight from the mouths of some of the women that make up BlackWhiteConnections. Guys here's your chance to pay attention and get some insight into what our beautiful black queens are wanting and expecting from us,so PAY ATTENTION!!!!

shenikwa says: Be for real. Be yourself even if that means she won't like you.

Elizabeth  says: If you like what you see be assertive and approach. Stop being scared we'll bite

Bianca  says: Be loving, caring, hella fun, sensitive, and understanding

Akila  says: I expect ACTIVE LISTENING...loyalty...not too much jealousy & at the same time make me feel attractive...positive reciprocity! Romance,excitement,open mindedness,sweet and kind ,patience too

Tina says: sweet,kind,loyal,romantic,fun to be around,and a great listener to when we have problems. The most important one of all is respect,always gotta be respectful

Alexis  says: I expect you to live the Golden Rule in reference to the life you lead. I hope we can debate about issues that hold special significance to each of us but agree to disagree when the time is right. Don't be some iceberg I have to climb and ...crack open. Please know how to kiss without tongue and with. Be okay with PDA's within reason. Be willing to share you interests like I'll share mine with you, don't leave it to me to come up with ideas on activities we can do together all the time. Nothing is more boring than two people staring at each other and asking "What do you want to do?" 

Kenda says: First off we want respect then loyalty...honesty...communication...and trust....but most of all we want love...pure, true, real, unconditional love...if there is love all of the things above will fall n2 place...we dont want a man that claims to love us but doesn show it...or a man that disrespects women by calling them bitches or hoes etc 

Ajiri The Leader Of BlackWhiteConnections Africa says: Real Men, not afraid to be who they are.Thats the beauty of the world variety, someone out there is looking for that special and unique trait or personality 

If you look here you'll start to see some common elements;respect,being yourself,know what you want and being assertive,honesty and communication are all common things basically all of the ladies told us they expect from men. So guys if you're trying to be someone you truly aren't STOP!!!! Be yourself and just relax. Remember you're not getting married to these women tomorrow and it takes a bit of time to open up completely and get to know each other intimately.

If you just genuinely be yourself you won't come off as fake or trying too hard and the women will pick up on that this is the REAL YOU and they will be able to better decide if they like you or not and if they are interested in getting to know you better. With this being said remember that you aren't wanting to get someone under false pretenses but who you actually are and what you're REALLY looking for. Trust and believe that WHATEVER that may be there's plenty of women out there that are looking for the same thing.

The key is being yourself,knowing your strengths and weaknesses,highlighting your strengths and doing your best to stay away from your weaknesses(while you work on them to strengthen them),then being assertive and straight forward.

People HATE to have their time wasted. Men and Women alike. So don't waste your time or anyone elses. Tell that beautiful woman you're interested in exactly what you're looking for and want to see happen. I guarantee that NO MATTER WHAT that may be they will respect you a lot more for being open and honest,than trying to play games and hide things.

I hope this blesses all of you and that those that needed some insight in these areas gained what they needed. If any of you have comments or questions that have to deal with this topic please make sure you add them so we all can share

Have You Always Been Attracted To Black Women Or White Men & Why?

Out of the thousands of black women and white men I have talked to that date interracially I have gotten mixed reviews on this question of if they always have been attracted to or interested in black women (bw) or white men (wm).

All of the white men I talked to said they have always been attracted to or interested in black women.Most of them said they didn't think black women would like or be interested in them though,or they said they were afraid of black women.

I can relate to that because that's how it was with me as well.I didn't think black women were interested in white men romantically or sexually.

The black women either admitted to always being attracted to white men ( most of these women said they were afraid of what society and more importantly their family and peers would think,say,and do if they admitted to being attracted to or liking white men though and this is what held them back.A good number of these women also thought white men weren't interested in them or wouldn't have relationships with them) or said they had a girl friend or family member that dated a white guy and suggested they also do it,because they were much happier.

Then there were some that said they got fed up with dating black,latin,spanish or puerto rican men and heard good things about dating white men or thought "what the hell.I'll give it a shot".

All of the white men said they loved black women's bodies.Especially a big ole booty!!!After talking to these white men further they all also admitted to liking black women's personalities as well,but it was the beauty and body that initially drew them in,because men are sexual beings.We think sex before anything else.

Women are more maternal,then think security and long term before other things.The black women said they liked our personalities and how we treated them (like queens) as well.

Everyone has special reasons for liking others,but taken as a whole these are the answers I've got after dating strictly black women for 12 yrs now and talking to thousands of white men and black women that dated interracially or are thinking about it.

What's The State Of Social Networking Sites & What's The Point Of A Network

I was reading a book on business prospecting yesterday and it was talking about networks and it REALLY touched me,because it said EXACTLY what I felt!

It said "a real network is not a group of acquaintances who might be able to help you out someday.Instead,a network is an association of individuals who have a solid relationship with each other and a strong commitment to the success of everyone within that group".

This got me thinking about the state of social networking sites and more specifically groups on those sites,as well as elsewhere.

 

How many of these groups and websites fit this definition?

As some of you may know I've been a part of the bwwm (black women white men) community for 12yrs now.Five years of this I have been part of the online bwwm (black women white men) groups and two years of it I have had my own bwwm (black women white men) groups called blackwhiteconnections.

What I have noticed and seen over the years in these groups is that most of the time they get a number of members and for around three months they do well with members coming in and responding to questions,discussion topics,and adding question and discussion topics themselves,but then the group just dies.

People stop coming to the group,checking it,and adding to it.Either by answering questions,discussion topics,or adding their own.

IN my own group on myspace (http://groups.myspace.com/blackwhiteconnections) after a year I sent out a mass email asking what was going on with the group and asking members to add the groups profile page to their friends list,so I could send one update to reach everyone so I didn't have to email all 2,500 members.

Over half of these members (1,500) didn't even know or remember they were even a part of the group or what it was!!!

What I found out through my group and then talking to other people that have bwwm (black women white men) groups is

• Most people end up joining because they are curious and visit the group two or three times and then forget about it,as well as that they are still members.
• They also don't usually introduce themselves or add anything to the group.

Now also this seems to be the case with people on social networking sites as well that aren't even in groups.

They add a slew of people to their friends list building it up into the high hundreds and even thousands,then don't even bother to reach out to these people through email or instant messages sent to them from these people on their friends list.

This brings me back to the definition of networks that I described in the beginning of this blog and to ask a question

• What's the point of joining a social networking site or group if your not going to interact with the people in the groups you join or the people you add to your friends list?

• Why do you think these groups and websites were started?

It's my hope and prayer that this blog brings about a lot of discussion and makes people wake up and realize what they are doing and how they are being viewed,as I know MANY people that won't even add someone if they have more than 100 people on their friends list for this very reason.

What Do You Really Want

Hello everyone,how is everything going for you?I hope and pray all is well and if not they get better VERY soon.

The topic of this blog is the first question I posted on the boards when I first started blackwhiteconnections in myspace and it's still the #1 and most important question for all members to ask themselves and answer,because if you don't know what you want, how are you supposed to get what you want?

What I as well as many other bwwm group leaders/owners have noticed is that the far majority of you joining these groups think or assume that these groups are only to "hook up" or meet someone to be with in some way,shape,or form.

Lets examine this in further detail and come up with a plan on how someone under this criteria could get what they want.

Lets assume far a minute that the male is looking for women to give him sexual gratification or to please him sexually somehow and the female is looking for a man that will respect her,honor her,talk to her,build a friendship and romance,give her some form of commitment,love her,and then give her sexual gratification.

I'll start with the male since they are much easier and faster to examine.Since their only want is to be sexually gratified the only qualification they have is that the females they approach can and will give them sexual gratification.

In other words,they find them attractive and sexy,plus the female has or will provide sexual pics,such as bikini pictures,booty pics,and other sexually provocative pictures including possible naked pictures or they will talk to them sexually or about sexual topics.

If the female has 1 or 2 of these qualifications they get what they want,because the qualifications are so low and there's enough females out there that fall into these qualifications so it's very easy for the average male to get what he wants,as long as this is what they want and as you ladies already know just about 90-95% of the guys online fall into this standard.

Now lets examine the female,she has far more qualifications so it's much more difficult for her to get what she wants.Then when you add into this the sad fact that 90-95% of guys online automatically try to talk about sexual things or get sexual pictures from the females they talk to (because as I just went over,most guys online only want sexual gratification) it's even further and almost impossible for the average female to get what she's looking for online.

Now as most of you know there is no real set type of male or female.Everyone has a different personality,experiences,wants,needs,as well as many other things.But if you take a group as a whole you can see many of the same things and this is what i'm doing here,so please no rude or ignorant messages or emails about this subject please!

Many females add into the qualifications they already have that the guy is in their area and since almost 100% of the people you meet online (much less the bwwm groups) aren't in your area, they are already set up to fail and not get what they want.

Lets say this qualification isn't in their list of qualifications though and just go through the other qualifications and how they can get what they want.

Sadly as most of you know because of the standard of guys that I already went through,the stack is already built against you.So your only option to get what your looking for is to hopefully find it someplace else or to put up with the ignorance of the guys in these places. 

My suggestion to you for finding guys that fit the qualifications that I originally listed is

• find a place where intellectual people get together and meet guys there.This way they aren't there looking for only sexual gratification so you have a better chance to get the respect,honor,conversation,romance,friendship,commitment and love your looking for and need,then you can get the sexual gratification you want or need as well without feeling like a ho or that the guy doesn't respect you and is only looking for one thing.

If you decide to continue to look for these things in these places ladies I suggest you have your standards and hold strongly to them and if a guy approaches you in the wrong way politely let them know this,

• Such as:If they approach you with a sexual line or commenting on a body part of yours or something I suggest saying something like "excuse me?I would appreciate it if you didn't speak to me like that.If you want to have a conversation with me or get to know me just say hello or hi".

This will show them that you have standards and respect for yourself,then they can gather their senses and know how to talk to you in the future.You can start over if you decide to.

Don't just write off guys that approach you the wrong way either.Some guys don't know better (sadly) and others are just used to females responding to this approach (if they weren't getting positive responses to these approaches do you think they would continue to approach this way?) so stand up for yourself and teach them how to approach you as I suggested.Some guys that start out this way are actually okay and just need some guidance or direction.

 

When you start talking to guys pay close attention to the questions they ask you.This will give you an idea or tell you what they're interested in and therefore what they want.

 

Think of some good conversation starters that are open ended questions so they can tell you something about themselves without just answering yes,no,or maybe.

Also know that ALL guys want to know that getting sexual gratification is possible and ok with you at some point and even when that is.

It's my belief and feeling that you should have a conversation for at least 1 1/2 hrs straight before sex should come up in the conversation or 3 emails and then all of the conversation shouldn't be just about this subject.That way you know and get all the things you want and need.
 

Now past all this for both guys and females,I suggest that if you want these qualifications and are looking for them in these groups

• be more out going and active.
• Post messages saying hi,then stop in and correspond with others in the group,giving your feed back to questions and statements
• ask your own questions,post blogs on topics you feel passionately about that have to do with the group in some way.

If you do these things I guarantee that more people will respond to you and reach out to you,so you'll get to know more people and have that much more opportunity to get what your looking for.

There you go.I hope this blesses you and that maybe even it will allow the boards and groups to be more active in return.

Qualities Of A BlackWhiteConnections Family Member

    Hello everyone,this is Jeremy Nelson the CEO of BlackWhiteConnections.I decided to write and post this blog to let all the members of the BlackWhiteConnections community know the qualities we want you to have and what we expect from you as well.

    As you all know from my last blog BlackWhiteConnections IS NOT just a hook up spot for black women and white men to meet each other and "hook up" or whatever you want to call it.

    BlackWhiteConnections was built and started for a much deeper reason than that. Which i outlined in that last blog as well.One of them was to form a family out of the black women white men community.

 

  So here are the qualities and what we expect from out members.

1.  Know Each Other: Who we are,where we're from & some basic information about each other,what we do for a living,what we're going to school for & where at,how many kids we have,what we enjoy doing for fun,what we want in life and a relationship
2. Keep In Regular Contact With Each Other:Send or reply to email to each other at least every other week,Not just with people you're the closest with or romantically interested/involved with either.
3.  Help & Support Each Other:Give advice to each other,listen to each other,show care & compassion,network & introduce each other to new people you think they will like or can help them
4. Trust:Share things about yourself & be honest AT ALL TIMES, give more than just very general & basic information about yourself to others,don't give one worded answers,don't assume that everyone has an angle or something they are trying to get from you to use you. This doesn't mean you have to share your deepest darkest secrets with everyone however. Trust is given as well as earned.
5. Love Each Other:Truly & genuinely care about them,their situation,what they been through and going through.
6. Protect Each Other:Don't let other down grade,talk badly to or about,try to intimidate,threaten or harm in anyway,shape,or form any of the people in our community/family
7. Honest With Each Other At All Times

These are qualities we want our members to have at BlackWhiteConnectioins. They are very basic,simple to follow & yes WE DO EXPECT OUR MEMBERS TO HAVE ALL OF THESE QUALITIES & TO FOLLOW THEM..
As I said in the beginning of this blog and in the last blog I wrote,BlackWhiteConnections IS NOT just a hook up spot. It's a family & meant to be acted as such.
Many of you I'm sure have dysfunctional families as do I,so I don't want us to think and act as that kind of family,but think about how you wish your family was and the qualities you wish they had as a cohesive unit and apply those.As always,I pray that all is well with all of you and that you and your families are well.

                                                                                                                                 

Sincerely Yours,

Jeremy Nelson

How To Get The Most Out Of BlackWhiteConnections

Hey, how’s it going everyone? As always I hope & pray that all is well and if they aren’t they get better VERY soon.
I have noticed a few thing with the bwwm (black women white men) groups online that’s poorly affecting this community and that’s part of the reason I decided to write this blog, in hopes that I could bring awareness to these subjects and hopefully turn them around,so this beautiful and wonderful community can continue to grow and thrive even.
Another reason I decided to write this blog is attached to the reasons I just stated, but also so everyone has a better and more full understanding on what’s BlackWhiteConnections is and as the name of the blog says “get the most out of BlackWhiteConnections”.
The first thing I noticed is that the far majority of people out there think or assume that bwwm groups are just “hook up” spots or places to meet someone that your interested in or possibly interested in getting with in some shape or form.
Maybe some of these groups were actually set up with only this intent. I can personally tell you (seeing as I’m the creator and CEO of BlackWhiteConnections, also because I’ve talked to or know many of these bwwm group owners or leaders) that most of these bwwm groups WERE NOT started ONLY for this reason.
Yes it IS a part of the reasons that BlackWhiteConnections as well as many other bwwm groups were started though.
BlackWhiteConnections was started to bring the bwwm community together. To be a family, To offer support and advice, bring everyone together, to have a place where the greater community could find out about the bwwm community. What it is, what are about, what we deal with, and where we are, also so people that are curious or interested in this community can find out about these things and ease into it or jump right in if they decide to do so. It was also started to not just be an online group, but to be a full fledge community. Where we get together both online, as well as offline regularly. That has regular contributors and people that help run it, as well as give back to it. Either in a small way or a major way.
Now that you have a better or more full understanding of what BlackWhiteConnections was started for, let me tell you what BlackWhiteConnections is;BlackWhiteConnections is a bwwm online community.
That means we are all over the internet set up in different groups, fan pages, and profiles on different sites. These are the places we get together online.
Now for the second thing I’ve noticed that’s very negatively affecting the bwwm community online and therefore the greater bwwm community is: guys joining bwwm groups and only being interested in sex and approaching the black women in these groups in sexual ways from the very beginning.
I’m a guy as well so I understand guys wanting sexual gratification, but not from the VERY BEGINNING and with it being the only thing you talk about and how you approach in the first place.
I’m sorry but that’s COMPLETELY ridiculous to me!
How are you gonna not know anything about someone (because most people don’t bother to actually read profiles before they message someone) or very little about them (because most people only post a limited amount of information about themselves online) and approach them with a sexual line, telling them what you want to do to them, telling them how sexy they are and how big their butt is (like they don’t know and haven’t been told a million times already) or asking them if you can do something sexual to them.
The thing that’s even more sad about this is that guys wouldn’t keep doing this if they didn’t get results. With the internet as most things it’s a numbers game and most guys know this! So if they approach enough women this way they know eventually they will get results. So ladies and yes I know it’s far from the majority of you I’m speaking to here, but stop responding to these things and teach these guys how to approach you and on your side this sad thing will stop happening hopefully, because if they don’t get results they won’t continue to do it.
I suggest if a guy approaches you sexually and you don’t want to be ( which is the far majority of you ladies out there I know) then you say “excuse me? I would appreciate it if you don’t talk to me like that. Now if you want to speak to me or get to know me, just say hi or hello”. This will show them you have respect for yourself and how to approach you.
Now guys, really you need to SERIOUSLY step your game up if this is how your approaching females. Ask them some questions about themselves and get to actually know them first before you approach them this way and I guarantee you get much better results. But that doesn’t mean just one or two questions either. Like I said “get to know them some first”.
Now onto the main topic and name of the blog; How to get the most out of BlackWhiteConnections.
Like I said, BlackWhiteConnections is an online community, so my first suggestion on how to get the most out of BlackWhiteConnectioins is to join all of the BlackWhiteConnections community.
That is join all of our groups, fan pages, profiles, chat room, and blogs. That way you will be a part of everything and won’t miss out on anything. Also that way you will have access to many more people than just one of these places. You will have that much more access and opportunity to get what you came for in the first place.
The second suggestion is: regularly check these places and give comments and feed back. Respond to questions and say hi, introducing yourself.
This way more people will see you (because most don’t go through the members sections) and be that much more likely to message you and get to actually know you, which will bring you closer to getting whatever it is you came for in the first place!
Third suggestion on how to get the most from BlackWhiteConnections is:write in questions of your own or think of topics of discussion and write them into the community along with blogs on things facing the bwwm community and that you feel passionately about, so others can respond, get to talking, as well as get to know each other and feel more free to ask questions of their own or leave their thoughts.
Fourth suggestion is: Be an active member and give back by helping run BlackWhiteConnections in your own small or major way. We need help with MANY things and all help is welcome. It doesn’t have to be anything major. In fact most things would take only around an hour a week if that!
Also the people that are the most active and give the most back are the ones that get the most out of anything, much less BlackWhiteConnections. It only makes sense. Think about it. These are the people that everyone sees when they check the various places we are, so it only makes sense that they will be the ones contacted the most and therefore have the larger friends list and in return have the most options to get what they came for in the first place.
If any of you would like to participate helping give back, let me know what you’re interested in doing or how you would like to give back and I’d be more than happy to respond and tell you how you can go about doing this. I can also get you a more full list of specific things needed done.
As always I love you all. Love yourself, love others, and may God bless each and everyone one of you more than your mind can imagine.